What brings someone here
You've probably said or done something in anger that you regret. Maybe more than once. The flare happens fast — faster than you can stop it — and then you're left dealing with what it cost you. Relationships, trust, your own sense of who you are.
Anger itself isn't the problem. Anger is information. It's usually pointing at something real — a boundary that got crossed, a hurt that never got named, a part of you that's been pushed too far for too long. The work is learning to hear what it's saying before it takes over.
What's actually driving it
In IFS, what we call "anger" is usually a protective part — a firefighter that moves fast and hits hard when something threatening gets activated. Underneath it is almost always something more vulnerable: fear, shame, hurt, or an exile that got touched and needed immediate protection.
That's not an excuse for behavior that causes harm. But it is a map. And when you understand the map, you have options you didn't have before.
How I work with anger
We slow down the sequence. What happened just before the flare? What does the anger feel like in your body before it becomes words or action? What's the part that ignites, and what is it protecting?
I also bring in somatic awareness — anger lives in the body before it becomes behavior, and learning to track it there gives you a window to work with that reactive part before it takes over. This work is practical, not just insight-oriented.
How we track what changes
Depending on what's underneath the anger — anxiety, trauma, depression — I use validated measures to get a clear picture of where things are and track real movement over time. Progress in this work is measurable, and we'll know when it's happening.
Ready to take the first step? Schedule a free 15-minute consultation — no commitment, no pressure. Just a conversation to see if we're a good fit.